Squiggi's Saga

Most of our members are attentive and responsive, but a few suffer from some chemically induced intelligence suppression. The most noteworthy of these characters is Squiggi, who conveniently screws up or asks silly questions at the most unexpected times. A few times while driving on the way to work I’ve busted out laughing at a memory of something he’s done. Most of it is of the type where ‘you just had to be there’, but I’ll tell the stories anyway.

The first time I realized he was a bit (perma)stoned was during an ORVR session that took place in Praag. This was one of those battles that lasts for a half hour of frantic warband leapfrog in attempt to keep all the Objectives defended and hold off the Order force. When the time was short and the flip close, we all knew we had to rush to Kadrin Valley as fast as possible to stop the zone from flipping in favor of Order. The momentum was intense, Praag flipped, and we all headed to KV with barely seconds to spare to capture the flag after killing the last few Order stragglers. So the flag was capped and we all sat there taking a quick break. Ventrilo quieted down after the frenzy of talking during the last 45 minutes. After a minute or two of silence, a barely audible voice squeaks something. We all tell the guy to turn up his volume, and in return get another series of squeaks, this time no louder. So I turn up his volume from my end and ask him what he said.

“When is Praag gonna flip guys, I’m bored.” He states in a quiet voice, drawing out every word carefully so he’s understood. I think my laughing made him feel bad.

Frequently in Lost Vale, he gets lost while returning to whatever boss we’re currently running back to after dying. The other day, I noted that an overlooking cliff that was almost to the spider boss was directly above the crocodile boss, the zone had wrapped back toward the beginning. Squiggi’s innocent curiosity leads him right up to the edge and over, followed by stunned silence. “Shit guys, I think I fell off the edge.” He squeaks. At the same time I want to smack him, I can’t help but feel sorry for him by the tone of his voice. He is crestfallen and apologetic, and the mix makes me burst out laughing. There’s no other response